Saturday, 31 July 2010

It was if our house was grieving

This is my 50th post. Most people seem to give something away for their blog Birthday's but I am not sure I have anything worth giving away, or that anyone would participate! Haha.

For a cheery person I have a somewhat inexplicable addiction to melancholia. Melancholy music, books, movies, artworks, days. I very recently finished a book called Linger by Maggie Stiefvater which is the sequel to a book called Shiver (yes I enjoy going back and reading young adult books every now and then). Due to Twilight these books are probably getting a bit of a bad reputation but don't be fooled, these books are lovely. My favourite mix of animals, (a requirement for just about everything in my life), excellent characters and a decided touch of melancholy. The kind of books that you can loose yourself in wishing that you were both main characters, just wishing that you had their life because it is so appealing to you for some reason. I have found that the perfect soundtrack to these books (and a soundtrack I can't stop listening to for weeks after) would probably be Josh Pyke, Frightened Rabbit, Sigur Ros, Sea Wolf, Her Space Holiday and to a lesser extent Angus and Julia Stone. But especially Josh Pyke. I go through phases with this artist. Every now and then I forget he exists and then I hear a line of beautiful melancholy lyrics and I am addicted again.

These are the kind of books that I find inspiring. They make me want to create artworks and write stories and write poetry and go bush walking. They make me want to move to America, to a small town in a area where nature outgrows the human presence. I don't even really like America but I love their Wildlife. I would like to go just to see the scenery and vastness. I wouldn't even mind if I never saw a single human being. I think a book that inspires you to do anything is a successful book.

The lingering memory of the books, the continual hum of the music and the warmth of the sun flowing in the window makes me want to go for a walk in the park, probably over to the mangove boardwalks in the area. Unfortunately I have a really terrible cold. The kind where you take a couple of steps and almost pass out and can't eat or breathe. I had to call in sick to work today and they hung up on me... It's nice to know they care.

I might go for a walk anyway, at a nice leisurely pace perhaps. Maybe with dogs. I wish my cat would go for proper walks with me.

Today we had an open house. There were strangers in my house insensitively thinking of making my home their own. I have a lot of trouble with letting things go. Not the physical act of it, and I am very capable of recognising when things need to be let go. I have a problem with the emotional side of things. I have to work at convincing myself that I don't like whatever I am letting go. This is easier with inanimate objects that it is with people, and that's probably exactly the way it should be. Convincing myself that my house isn't mine anymore and I don't love it anymore is kind of like constructing a screen around my thoughts and feelings. One that is made out of lace. It works for the most part but every now and then you catch a glimpse through a tiny gap in the fabric, and it all comes rushing back in.

Convincing myself that I don't like a person is more like constructing a screen out of very very fine tissue paper and trying very hard to not put my foot through it and destroy the whole thing.

And finally a collagraph print of mine, created by covering cardboard in lace and shellac and printing them.


book trailer by Maggie, all hand cut individual shots...

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